Adults Ruin Things
Please don’t take offence. This isn’t ALWAYS true… just sometimes, haha! Trust me, I’m an adult, and a teacher, and I understand both sides. Sometimes we help and it’s great, sometimes we help and it’s more interfering than helpful, and sometimes it’s difficult to tell them apart. It is very important to take a step back and let children do things on their own, whether or not you might think they’re doing it “the right way”. As mentioned in another blog post on our site, Peter Gray, a prominent play researcher in Boston, says …. “When parents, teachers, and coaches get involved, it becomes less free, less playful, and less beneficial. Adults usually can’t stop themselves from directing and protecting.” (pg. 52/53) Sometimes ‘directing and protecting’ is truly necessary, but it’s less often than we tend to think. We need to notice how often we step in and take over with kids, and use that self-awareness to remove ourselves as needed from the situation. Maybe while the kids play, you read a book in the same room, or tidy in the next room. Maybe you offer them craft supplies with no end goal, so they can just experiment. Maybe you run errands after dropping them off at Playsticity’s indoor play space, where trained adults will supervise, but not interfere. In Haidt’s book, The Anxious Generation, he explains:
“Europeans have led the world in designing what are known as adventure playgrounds, which are designed for imaginative play. One type is called a junk playground because it is filled with miscellaneous things - building materials, ropes, and other ‘loose parts’, often along with tools, which attract children like magnets…[There is one on Governors Island in New York City]. Signs encircling the playground tell parents to refrain from interfering. As a parent, I know that is hard. When anyone sees a kid struggling, they want to jump in to help. It’s normal. It’s the natural outcome of being present and seeing a child who is frustrated or taking a small risk or behaving badly. That is why it is so important that we carve out some time when kids are not with a parent, teacher, or coach. That’s pretty much the only time they will be forced to function on their own and realize how much they are capable of. (pg. 258)
It is one of my all time favourite things to see, when a child realizes just what they CAN do on their own. The look on their faces, the pride emanating from them - it’s almost magic. However, it requires the adults in their lives to remove the scaffolding and step back so they can try it on their own. Not to mention that allowing children the space to try, and fail, develops their resilience and anti-fragility. Haidt says that “[k]ids will take on responsibility for their safety when they are actually responsible for their safety, rather than relying on the adult guardians hovering over them.” (pg. 261) It’s like teaching them how to look both ways before crossing the street. Unless you want to walk with them everywhere for their entire lives, they need to be taught the what, how, and why - and then allowed to test it out on their own.
Playsticity is available all day to almost all ages, so that your children can have access to a program after school or on weekends that allows them the freedom to explore their interests without adult interference in an indoor, imaginary version of a ‘junk playground’.
